Chapter 6: Real Role Models

Who are your role models? Amazing women like your mother or a teacher?

Have you found real role models in the media that inspire you?

What sort of role models do you wish celebrated by the media?

What qualities do you think a role model should have?

Comments

[Kaylie93]

I like the WNBA player best. She talks alot about how if we don't like the magazines and stuff out there, we don't need to buy them! She's right.

[g]

My role models:
Susan Juby (for writing about such a cool charcter, who doesn't conform!)
J.K. Rowling (for making loads of money from something creative, and saying such cool things!)
And someone with the name Audrey...;)

I believe I've said this before but role models should be people who never give up and give back to others!

[g]

oooh, and Jessica Weiner

Who are your role models? Amazing women like your mother or a teacher?
my mom is definitely a role model - she is so patient and forgiving and loving. i want to be like that
Have you found real role models in the media that inspire you?
angelina jolie inspires me - not for the glamour of her lifestyle and that she's amovie star - but because she works for unicef and is a UN ambassador. i see pictures of her with impoverished children, so gaunt - and yet she is so loving and doesn't shun them. she acts like their everyday people and showers love on them.

the same with audrey hepburn. the pictures of her as a unicef spokeswomen with children are so beautiful. you find some of those pictures. i think she looked more beautiful then with those children - even tho she was old - than in all her glamourous movies, because her inner beauty and compassion showed through.

i wish i knew of more scientists and judges and those kinds of women to look up to.
What sort of role models do you wish celebrated by the media?
scientists, doctors, ambassadors, humanitarians, judges, accomplished, intelligent women

What qualities do you think a role model should have?
trying to make a difference, working to change the world, helping others, puts the needs of others before herself, sees what is truly important in the world - like helping others and those that are in need, the corruption of countries and the devastation out there and trying to make a difference

[Audrey]

Pssst... here's an AMAZING role model that I talk about on my other blog Don't Believe the Hype (Link to it from my homepage at AllMadeUp.net). Her name is Courtney Macavinta, and she's the co-author of RESPECT: A Girl's Guide to Getting Respect & Dealing When Your Line is Crossed (Free Spirit, 2005)

And I'm happy to say, Courtney took time off from appearing on CNN, being quoted in major newspapers across the country and doing all sorts of other activist good on the planet to answer these questions for me. Just thought I'd post the responses here for everyone to read as well!

Audrey: Could you start by sharing your personal definition of respect, and one thing
we can all do to get it (or to respect ourselves)?

Courtney: Respect to me means to value and honor yourself and others--because
we're all super special (just because we're here!) and should be
treated as equals. Getting respect starts on the inside. For starters,
you need to believe that you're worth something and should have the
same rights as everyone else. But if you're not there yet, you can start by simply
exploring and doing things that you love. Following your passions helps you start
to realize your mission in life. It builds your confidence. It makes you feel like
you matter. And, basically, it helps you find your bliss! With your passions rolling,
then it's all about learning and living The 7 Respect Basics. Listening to
yourself, setting boundaries, speaking up, creating strong relationships and
sisterhood, and getting help when you need it--all of these actions show that
you respect yourself. Then you can spread that respect to your relationships and
world. At the very least self-respect means staying true to you.

Audrey: On page 36 of your book (see, I totally read it!) there are lots of amazing quotes from real
girls talking about their bodies...could you share your top three tips for stopping
the madness when it comes to dissing our bodies?

Courtney: Of all the respect topics, this is the one women and girls seem to
struggle with the most. Me too! I can't tell you how tired I am of
hearing all my smart, beautiful sisters talk for hours on end about
what diet they're on, how much weight they've gained or lost, or what
exercise fade they're following. Don't we have something else to talk
about? Totally! I'm tired of the character of a women being measured by
the number on the scale or the size of her jeans. Our real worth weighs
so much more than that!

Here are my tips:

Think about your body thoughts: Don't separate your mind and body. They
are BFs for life. So do think about how your body is helping you with
your mission in life or to enjoy your passions or to have fun. Respect
and care for your body from that POV. If you're struggling with bad
body thoughts, try this: Record your body thoughts: Keep a journal of
how often you think negative thoughts about yourself for one week. Add
up the minutes. The next week, spend the same amount of time volunteering or helping
someone in need. Compare the weeks. What's the difference in how you felt about
yourself?

Think about your real bling: Don't organize your entire life, thoughts,spending,
goals, and dreams around maintaining a certain body or beauty ideal--it weakens your
real girl power. As investments go, over time this strategy will leave you feeling
bankrupt and ripped off. Real fulfillment comes from: Caring about yourself.
Appreciating your uniqueness. Respecting your needs. Exploring your passions.
Helping others. Contributing. Questioning anything that doesn't feel right.
Believing in and supporting other women. Learning from rejection and
mistakes and moving on. Not seeing yourself as above or below anyone
else. Knowing you're here, you're special, and you're in charge of
your experience and choices. Doing what you know you should do.

Cut back on toxins: Go on a media fast. It's hard for me to lay down US
Weekly, too, but we have to do it! Would you read a magazine all day
about how to hate women? Or why women are so dumb and all that matters
is the size of their waist? Sometimes these magazines are sending the
same message. When you're no longer marinating your brain in a sea of
size 0s, diet tips, or body-obsessed "role" models, you'll get some
much-needed clarity. What do 'beauty' and 'healthy' mean to you? You
need the space to be the real you--without interruption or outside
pressure--to truly fund out. See Chapter 4 of RESPECT for tons of ways you can
clean up your media diet to boost your body respect.

Boost your self-respect: Make a list of all things you want to try or
love doing. And for the next month, work one of your passions into your
schedule each week. How do you feel now? To boost your confidence, try
something that you've been afraid to tackle. It could be just talking
to someone new, or going out for a team or job or entering yourself
into an election. Start small (where deep down you know you can do
it!).

Be a body role model. When we're advocates for other girls and women,
it rubs off on us in a really permanent way (the kinda tattoo you never
want to get rid of). So to start loving your body, show other girls the
love. Around younger girls, don't say you're fat, ugly or anything else
downright mean about yourself. Change the world for the better by *not*
talking the Language of Fat. Don't size each other up based on your
size. Compliment a girl's character, choices, accomplishments and ideas
(not just how cute she looks in pair of jeans). Make body choices that
show your sisters that you *truly* love yourself (like not depriving
yourself of what you need and making your health a priority). Don't be
afraid to try new sports or activities, which also shows other girls
that it's OK not to be perfect all the time (remember, being active
boosts your self-respect either way). Moms, if you want to transform
your daughters' lives in a really amazing way: stop hating, abusing or
putting down your body. They're watching and learning (just like we
did!).

Audrey: Could you offer some thoughts on how to make sense of the fact
that the women most frequently featured in the media as role models haven't really
done much to earn our respect... but yet we all know them on a first name basis....
In your opinion, how has this come about and who should be we looking to instead?

Courtney: We do need to question our media role models. If you're looking up to
someone because of her wardrobe, the color of her hair, her party
lifestyle, or her tiny size, think about: What does this woman have to
say? You should be valued for your heart, ideas, creativity,
uniqueness, and contributions to your world. Shouldn't your role models
have to stand up to the same test? It hurts deep down when we're not
appreciated for who we really are. So let's not treat other women and
girls like cardboard cutouts either. Think about: What really matters
to your role models? What do they stand for? What's their mission? How
are they using their life? The answers should reveal if you truly
admire this person or if you need to come up with higher standards for
who you call a role model. You can start by being a role model of
self-respect in your own right!

****

PS. I should mention that if you click over to Courtney's site... she's got an interview with me up there. We both really liked aspects of each other's books and wanted to dive in on our blogs!

[Miranda]

My role models are my mom because she's a great mom who keeps everything balanced, and my former teacher Ms. DeFrances, who inspired me to teach elementary school when I grow up. The media needs to represent women like these--who are compassionate, determined, and who actually DO something!

[Alicia]

I think that some qualities that a role model should have is respect for others, good leadership qualities, and should have been recognized for doing good instead of being super skinny or completley weird.

[Amanda]

I believe that you and my mom are two of my role models in life. It is people like you who really support girls and every aspect of them, not just outer beauty. I thouroughly enjoyed your talk at my school because it educated me further in every part of the matter of being skinny. Somethintg tha5t really stands out to me about you is that you not only were a model (so you know lots about it) but you went to 91st street CSH and that is where I go, but in Greenwich. I appreciate all of your knowledge on the subject and how you are initiating "making change" in this area. That alone is a quality which truly makes a role model.

My mom also takes a huge spot in the parking-lot of the role models. She is my advice-holder, secret-keeper and she is everything I hope to be when I grow up. She may not have been a model, or first woman president, but that's okay, because none of that matters to me.

All I care about is that she is my MOM, and that alone is plenty to be a role model.

[Abby11]

A real role model is someone like a teacher. They teach a new generation of kids to be smart and successful. Sometimes they don't get paid as much as they should. I don't think that's right. Famous women get paid thousands every day for just waking up and doing nothing worthwhile. Is that really a role model?

I have found a role model in the media that inspires me. Her name is Kelly Clarkson. She used to have a normal life just like us, trying to get through each and every day without going bankrupt. But now, she is a famous singer that really deserves to do what she does. She inspires lots of kids, just like me, to follow their dreams.

I think that parents should be celebrated by the media. I do agree that sometimes we just feel like strangling them, but when you really think about it, they play a big part in your life. They take care of you, look out for you, and most importantly created you. I am really glad that I have parents that are so caring and loving.

Qualities role models should have would be understanding, nice, loving, and most importantly, you can relate to them. If your role model has ever been to court for something they did or done something to themselves that might really hurt their health, most likely, you would want to be like them because they are your role model. But the question is: Why do people worship those who do these dreadful things? Real role models are those who are happy to be themselves and never regret their actions.

Who are your role models? Amazing women like your mother or a teacher?

Have you found real role models in the media that inspire you?

What sort of role models do you wish celebrated by the media?

What qualities do you think a role model should have?
One of my role models would definately be Mother Teresa,i love the work that she did,and if she was still alive,i would have not given up the chance to meet her,i think she's beautiful,what she did is beyond my words.

None,although Angelina Jolie is a good choice but i wouldn't prefer her.

I wish that role models like Mother Teresa or the late Princess Diana and even Brittany who found Fuzzy Feet Foundation should be celebrated more by the media,these are real women,girls that are concern about people suffering.We need more people like that,not more people who are being 'pulled' into the
entertainment industry.

Role models should have the quality of caring,helping unfortunate people,and always being patient,forgiving,loving,one that knows what is right and wrong,who can also be a leader,believe in herself and have confidence,and knows that beauty does not last.

[Rosestars]

(Sorry,i didn't put my name,Abby 11 is not me)
Who are your role models? Amazing women like your mother or a teacher?

Have you found real role models in the media that inspire you?

What sort of role models do you wish celebrated by the media?

What qualities do you think a role model should have?
One of my role models would definately be Mother Teresa,i love the work that she did,and if she was still alive,i would have not given up the chance to meet her,i think she's beautiful,what she did is beyond my words.

None,although Angelina Jolie is a good choice but i wouldn't prefer her.

I wish that role models like Mother Teresa or the late Princess Diana and even Brittany who found Fuzzy Feet Foundation should be celebrated more by the media,these are real women,girls that are concern about people suffering.We need more people like that,not more people who are being 'pulled' into the
entertainment industry.

Role models should have the quality of caring,helping unfortunate people,and always being patient,forgiving,loving,one that knows what is right and wrong,who can also be a leader,believe in herself and have confidence,and knows that beauty does not last.

[sage]

I think lots of people agree with me, my role modle is myself!

I think a role model should be nice and does something good! I sell knitted things to get money for poor, and I give it to people on the streets near Xmas.

[sage]

I think lots of people agree with me, my role model is myself!

I think a role model should be nice and does something good! I sell knitted things to get money for poor, and I give it to people on the streets near Xmas.

[sage]

I think lots of people agree with me, my role model is myself!

I think a role model should be nice and does something good! I sell knitted things to get money for poor, and I give it to people on the streets near Xmas.

[greentea]

I love Tyra Banks, actually. I heard she is starting a campaign to teach girls and women to say "I don't care what you say about my body; I love who I am already."
I also love Tina Fey, who is amazing. She was really mean when she was a child, but she grew with her ambition and did what she WANTED.

[athena]

my role model is m cousin because she is trying to become a police women and so am i
i think that models arn't realy that cool
they get all these free things but i dont i help the planet they don't
they have millions of dollars and they get free stuff but i dont

[CJ]

post people post! my role models are J.K.Rowling, my mom, audrey,my aunts, mother teresa, my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. C\ Mrs. O, and all the girls who post!!!!!!!!!!!:);)

[CJ]

and myself! thanks Sage!!!;)

[Acai Plus]

Nice bog you have here. I pretty much lurk the internet when I'm bored and read all I can about the organic lifestyle, but I really liked you view on things. I'll bookmark the site and subscribe to the feed!

[Kat]

I found a good song with a positive message...

"Mirror" by BarlowGirl... it's a Christian rock song

Some lyrics:

"You don't define me"

"Who are you to tell me that I'm less than what I should be... I don't need to listen to the list of things I should do... I won't try"